<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>be still my beating heart by thirixm</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26608381">be still my beating heart</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/thirixm/pseuds/thirixm'>thirixm</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Avatar: The Last Airbender</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>? - Freeform, Angst, M/M, Pining, Unrequited Love, a lot of it, no happy ending, set after the war, so theyre in their 20s-ish</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-23</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 04:42:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>707</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26608381</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/thirixm/pseuds/thirixm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The first time Zuko learned what yearning was, he hid himself in his library to read tragic tales of star-crossed lovers who never truly got a happy ending and wondered if that was what his destiny entailed.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Aang/Zuko (Avatar)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>73</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>be still my beating heart</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first time Zuko learned what yearning was, he hid himself in his library to read tragic tales of star-crossed lovers who never truly got a happy ending and wondered if that was what his destiny entailed.</p><p>	When Zuko learned who he was yearning for, the pain in his chest didn’t ease until he had the avatar alone after a late meeting. It was silent between them and the flames flickered with his wavering heart. Before Aang could speak, Zuko thanked him for his contributions and didn’t let the door catch his robe on the way out.</p><p>	Every time Zuko looked at himself in the mirror, silk hair draping down his shoulders and the golden hem of his robe exposing his shoulders, he couldn’t help but think falling for Aang, let alone the avatar, wasn't right. He was happy with Katara, and he didn’t want to ruin something already so perfect. Even knowing that, he still thought about it while combing out the knots in his hair and thought about it once more when he saw Aang again when discussing the foundation of Republic City.</p><p>	Being the Fire Lord kept him busy. It extinguished the heat in his stomach for desiring someone he ultimately could never hold in his arms. But in the night, that’s when he sat before the flames, allowing everything from the day to catch up to him.</p><p>	“Zuko,” a muffled voice came from the other side of his door as he was readying himself for a night of struggling with his inner conflict. He recognized it as the airbender’s voice - levelled and patient. “It’s Aang. Mind if I come in?”</p><p>	It was considered impolite to see the Fire Lord with their hair down and donning their night robe, but while they may show each other signs of utmost respect and courtesy in front of councillors and nation leaders, they were friends behind closed doors. If anything, viewing the Fire Lord in his least royal wear made him vulnerable and he was happy to bare himself to the man he trusts the most.</p><p>	“Not at all,” he called, and it was responded promptly by the door cracking open. </p><p>Aang’s swift movements were quiet as he pushed it closed behind him. He flashed a crooked smile to his friend as he observed the dim lit room. It was warm, as expected of the Fire Lord’s chamber.</p><p>“I thought you were leaving tonight to see the southern lights next week,” Zuko said, turning from the mirror of his vanity to face Aang.</p><p>“Change of plans,” he said in between laughs. “Besides, the southern lights can wait. We hardly get to hang out anymore and the stars are out tonight.”</p><p>He wondered if Aang suspected anything from him. He wondered if he knew. If he did, he should say it outright instead of dragging him out beneath the stars like all those tragic tales go. Instead, he smiled and let the man take his hand and lead him out the window as if they were kids with something to hide.</p><p>Zuko wondered, when laying next to Aang in his garden, why a friendship wasn’t good enough for him, how he wanted to clasp his hand over Aang’s and curl his fingers into his palm with the promise that they’re bound together by more than destiny. He never understood why he was always passive.</p><p>“I wish it’d stay this way forever,” Aang mumbled with a gentle smile. Zuko felt the tips of the grass prick his neck, his fingers dug into the delicate silk of his robe.</p><p>“Me too,” he managed out with a dry throat.</p><p>But it didn’t, and it couldn’t, and if there was anything all his books told him about rare nights like these, is that it’ll never happen again so long as the spirits forbid it. This wasn’t where his destiny laid, he knew this when he said goodbye to Aang as he readied his journey to the Southern Water Tribe. And ultimately, he knew, when he had to face him again in their next meeting, his heart would ache more than it ever has.</p><p>In Aang’s next life, all Zuko asked is that he’s able to see the smile of his old friend.</p>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>